Life Alone

I don't have anything particularly brilliant, insightful, or entertaining to share with you today. It's been a good holiday season, spending time with my extended family. I'm the only one in my apartment and it's been nice. I've gotten to take my time settling in, unpacking and not feeling like my explosion of stuff is annoying or in any else's way. I've cleaned basically the entire apartment. I don't think I've ever cleaned this much in my life. But it's good. It has made this place feel like it's mine and not someone else's house that I'll be living in for the next four months.

What I really wanted to share, though, was about Elijah, you know, from the Bible, 1 Kings. I was reading my bible this morning and I read the classic story of God not being in the wind, earthquake, or fire, but in the gentle whisper. (Technically, it doesn't say that God was in the whisper, but Elijah's reaction would tell us otherwise.)

This time of life has been an interesting one for me. Graduation is quickly approaching and EVERYONE, it seems, is required to ask me what I'm doing after I graduate. I don't know the answer to that question. I don't want to talk about it with people, whose opinions I don't want. I thought going to DC would help me answer all these big life questions, but all it did was give me more.

What Elijah has to do with my life, right, that's my point. Ok, well, I've been waiting for God to show up in an earthquake. I want something big and definitive. It might be crazy, but I'll be so sure of it that it won't matter if it's crazy. Unfortunately, as Elijah's story show's us, God doesn't always act in big earthquake shaping ways. The small whisper that has been spoken to my heart for about a month now is to go to some latin america country for a few years. It's small, gentle, not in any way a sure thing. But what is my faith if I never act in a way that requires it? I'm trusting that this whisper is God, that he will guide my steps down a path he's already prepared for me that I simply cannot see yet. The story of Elijah was just what I needed.

Thank you, God, for giving us your word that it might speak to us just as we need it to. Thank you for the way you whisper to my heart and show it what is right before my rational mind recognizes it. May you continue to grant me a willing heart and spirit to pursue you wherever you take me. I love you, Daddy. Amen.

Cuddle Puddles and In-N-Out

I've been back at APU for almost 24 hours now. It's SO good to be back. With the exception of Shannon (because she doesn't live on campus) I got to see all my absolutely favorite people last night. In classic style, Ems took me to the post-op after we picked up some Taco Bell. Then we went to Katie, Bethany, and Gracie's apartment, my home for a week. Gracie and I talked DC, Katie attacked me when she opened the door, and Bethany scared me as I walked down the hall. They had plans that evening, so I found my way to Alicia, Melissa, Jennie, and Elena's apartment. We talked for awhile, went to dinner at In-N-Out, had a cuddle party of Jennie's bed, and ogled the attractive boys/men (depending on which person you ask) in Prince Caspian. Of course, all of this activity was loud and accompanied with much laughter. Seeing everyone again reminded me how much a part of me this place and these people are.

This morning I went to church at the most amazing place ever, Reality LA. I attended this church all last year and was very sad to leave it when I went to DC. I never realized how good I spoiled I had become at Reality. While no church is perfect, it's minor flaws are easily overlooked when you realize how amazing it really is. Needless to say, it was GOOD to be back. Ironically enough, Tim preached on Isaiah 42:1-4, which deals heavily with the idea of justice. Much of our time in class at ASP was spent discussing this. I always left those classes frustrated and confused, wanting to do avoid the subject at all cost. Tim Chaddick, though, reminded me that are people, even those who are intelligent and educated, that think like I do about the topic of justice. A wonderful message, followed by the kind of worship through music I longed for all semester, made it a spectacular morning.

Now I sit here, my friends all around me studying and writing papers on this weekend before finals week. I haven't anything to do and so I write this blog. I can't quite imagine what this break or next semester will look like or bring to my life, but I'm excited to see what the journey will be like. Instead, I will leave you with the little things in life that bring me joy at APU.

-Sinks with two sides
-Toilets that flush easily
-In-N-Out
-Friends with cars
-Microwaves that work
-Reality LA
-Light switches that go up and down, not sideways
-79 degrees outside
-Laughing so hard my face and stomach hurt
-Freeways that we refer to using "the"

If I'm in the airplane, is it still a shooting star in the night sky that I can make a wish on?

I got in a cab this morning and went to Reagan National Airport. It was kind of surreal. As we were driving over the bridge into Virginia, I was reminded of my first cab ride in the city when I arrive four long months ago. I was a bright-eyed little girl so excited to start a new adventure. It seems like it was just yesterday, and yet so long ago.

This semester was nothing like I expected it to be. I expected to leave with clear direction for my life. I expected to learn more about politics. I thought I’d absolutely love the city and be dying to go back the moment I left. Never in a million years did I expect to form friendships that would last a lifetime. I never would have told you that I’d be learning all about business as a part of international development, or that it would include SO MUCH research. But, alas, God’s plans are always different from the ones I make.

Some of my most memorable and favorite phrases/moments in the semester:
~It’s best not to ask these things.
~The solution is always puppy kisses.
~DINOS!
~Hand hugs
~Everything is binding. (And I mean that in the best way possible.)
~Did you know it’s only the year 2003 in Ethiopia?
~The British
~Paper Cranes
~Having entire conversations about really personal things without ever actually saying anything.
~Business is a part of the solution, not the problem.
~Justice, Shalom, Hope, and Forgiveness
-Including the baby ;-)
-Sin as intruder! Hide your Shalom!
~You know I’m just gonna make it up, right?
~Learning Southern-isms
-Pitch a conniption fit
-A jezebel
-Toboggan, not the sled
-Purple Bike
~“Defeat” and “Sexy” in sign language
~Teenage Dream by the Warbolers of Dalton Academy in Glee
~Chips and Salsa at 2 am
~Cuddle Parties
~Having 3 1/2 roommates, even though I really had 5.
~Coffee, and all that it implies (including Peregrine and Kramers).
~People who respond the way I want them to when I whine.
~How would you define Corporate Social Responsibility? What are your top three take-aways?
~I don’t play that game.
~I just work here.
~Always blame the intern. (But it’s okay, because occasionally the intern will get a gold star.)
~Why isn’t it Hawaii?!?!

I’m leaving this semester glad that it’s done and yet so sad that it’s over. Words fail to express how my heart feels about all that I did this semester, even though I would desperately love to share that with you all. I’ve discovered this semester that words are not my forte, I think in images and feelings. Neither is there some overarching theme that wonderfully expresses my semester (even though I wrote a paper about said overarching theme).

And now a few shout-outs to the people I couldn’t have gotten through the semester without.

Virginia:: Thanks for taking care of me, cuddles, hugs, dinners, and for letting me love you.
Hannah:: Thanks for being from Kentucky and being the closest things I’ve ever found to my sister.
Greg:: Thank you for calling me your friend and knowing how to be mine, even if it made you a little uncomfortable at times.
Jon:: Thanks for being a phenomenal hugger, for giving up high-fives and replacing them with hand-hugs, for our Maine-California/Hawaii agreement, and for making me your sister.
Mandie:: I don’t know what I would have done without you. Thank you for listening and being exactly what I needed.
Apartment 7:: Thanks for letting me be your Kramer, your half-roommate. I couldn’t have survived without you girls, or your microwave.

Two Weeks

It has hit me hard these last two days that I only have two weeks left in DC. It is probably the most bittersweet feeling I've had in a long time. I don't want to leave my friends here. I have so quickly fashioned my life around these people and it's hard to imagine life without them again. The hard part is that my natural inclination is to push everyone away, make it easier for me to leave them in two weeks. But I know that's not good for relationships. I don't know how to prepare myself for the coming separation.

But I am also SOOOO excited to go back to LA and see my friends there. My heart leaps for joy at the mere thought of their presence. I cannot wait to tell them all about my time in DC and what I have learned. I can't wait to go see Voyage of the Dawn Treader with a bunch of them, or watch season six of LOST with KScroggs, or have a Camp Rock party with Melly, or cuddle with Ems on the couch. Oh, the comfort even the thought brings me.

Can you see my conflicted heart? Because I don't know what I feel more and I don't know how to reconcile the two competing sets of emotions. I know that life will continue whether or not I figure it out in my head, it always does. But words can't even come close to expressing the emotional state I am in right now. I couldn't explain it to you if I tried. I guess you'll just have to believe me, and know that I do have hope abundantly. But just because I hope doesn't mean life will be easy.

Chillax

This is the current cover of people magazine. I almost bought it. Ryan Reynolds is so attractive! But, I restrained myself, I really don't need to know all about his life, nor is it worth $5. And anyway, one of my roommates is bound to have it when I get back to DC.

In other news, Taylor Swift writes greeting cards. They are actually pretty good. I saw some of them at CVS tonight with the fam, and I really liked them. They aren't funny, which is what I normally go for, but they were really cute and sentimental in the way that I like to be. Cute and Cheesy, you know how I do.

But in other news, what else happened today?

Oh right, Wendy and I went down to old town Charleston and took a carriage ride! It was so much fun. Old town Charleston is SOO cute. Really old houses, so much history, excessive amounts of money. I decided today that if I have to live in a downtown area, I want it to be in a place with lots of history. Where I live in DC is kinda like that, it's really old and there is so much to be learned about what's happened in the city.

We also went to church tonight. It was awesome. It has been so long since I'd been in that kind of worship environment. I'd been needing that, hardcore! It just got me that much more excited Reality LA.

Today, all in all, was really chill and relaxing. I enjoyed every moment of it. :~)

Being with Family

So, being with family has reminded me how much I like family. There really is something about that relationship, no matter how long it's been since you've seen each other really still care. I mean, I'm spending this Thanksgiving with my aunt and uncle who I haven't seen since I was five and my two cousins who I'd never met before I got here on Wednesday. And yet I find myself really caring and wanting to make myself a part of their lives.

All of this has reminded me how much I want to be close to family in the future. I want my kids to know their Aunt Brittany (or whatever nickname they decided to give her, since she always gets the best ones from little kids). And I SO want to be cool Aunt Kimmy to her kids, not just some distant person they hear about. Growing up in Hawaii, I had those, but only to a certain extent, and I turned out fine, no complaints about my childhood, but I guess I'm just learning the value of having family close by.

But then my heart is torn, because I want to be abroad for a long time. I recently decided I want to learn a second language, and the best way to do that is to spend significant time in a country that speaks whatever language I decide I want to learn. (My current thought is Spanish, but that's mostly because it's what I took in high school and college, so I have a little experience and then the task seems less daunting.) But doing international development requires some kind of international/abroad experience. And I entirely want to do that, and live in a third world for a while. Oh my gosh, yes, I want to do that.

I don't know how to truly fulfill all of my desires in the same life. I can't quite reconcile the two in my head, and that scares me a little bit. I guess it's just another chance to trust God. I'm learning to do that a lot lately. It'll be interesting to see how my life turns out.

I bought this today at Target for $4, HAPPY :)

Today is Thanksgiving

So, I've never really been one much for holidays. I think America generally bastardizes them and makes them about ourselves or pretends to care about whatever the holiday is in order to appear pious. But, for some reason, I've taken a fondness to Thanksgiving today. (Don't worry, I'm not turning over a new leaf, I will still be a hypocritical cynic in regards to holidays).

I decided to look Thanksgiving up on Wikipedia. I mean, I know people hate on Wikipedia, but it's always a good starting place in my opinion. But I found it interesting. Nothing too extraordinary, but fun none the less.

I have a lot to be thankful for. I'm a little bit camera shy, so I won't be disclosing all the serious ones my mind is contemplating, but will tell you all the silly ones and some of the not so silly ones too.

1) I am thankful for the Disney Channel, and the ability to watch it over this Thanksgiving break.

2) I'm thankful for cell phones and the chance to call my family all over the country.

3) I really like food. Especially Hawaiian Sweet Bread Rolls. I am thankful that they have them in South Carolina.

4) COFFEE

5) Jesus, I'm thankful for Jesus.

(This is almost the google icon for the day.)

10 observations of an early morning

1. 4 am. I don’t understand English; it literally sounds like a foreign language. I didn’t understand anything the driver of my super shuttle said to me. When he got out of the van he either said “Hold On” or “Hello.” My bet’s on the latter, but I can’t be sure. Then he went to the back of the van and said something. I assumed he asked if I had any luggage, but that’s definitely not what I hear. After I handed him my bag, and I’m pretty sure he said “Last name,” but again, I don’t know if I would have picked that one up if it hadn’t been for other taxi experiences in DC. Later he got a phone call and was talking on the phone. I could not understand anything he was saying, it was so weird. But I know he was speaking English.

2. We drove past a street in Virginia named Mt. Pleasant Drive. I just couldn’t help but think that slightly ironic, considering that I’m going to Mt. Pleasant, SC.

3. Street names on the East Coast are weird. They are real things, with adjectives and all. Great Falls Drive. Green Camp Ave. It’s like the street names are actually describing what’s on that street. But they’re probably only odd to me because of where I’ve lived. In Hawaii street names are Hawaiian, for the most part. In California it seems like they are primarily either names or words in Spanish or Native American.

4. I don’t think Super Shuttle operates on Maui. I keep wanting to call it Speedi Shuttle, which I’m almost positive is the comparable Maui company. In my head it will always be Speedi Shuttle.

5. Dulles Airport people directors (they stand around and make sure people follow all posted signs and what not, but aren’t TSA). Anyway, they were really spiffy uniforms; they look like they could all be pilots, or bellhops.

6. Dulles Airport is not laid out in an efficient manner. All gates use the same security line, and not even that is laid out well. They really need to rethink the process; they have enough space to do it better.

7. Those new screening machines that everyone is all up in arms about make me think I’m going off into space. Blast off!

8. The girl in front of me in the security line had a really cute purple bag. I want one like it.

9. Being at the airport this early should be illegal. Doing anything at 4 in the morning should be illegal. I mean, it’s already a sin, we should just outlaw it.

10. There should be a Starbucks, or other major coffee chain, in every airport terminal. Most other coffee shops in airports just fail by comparison. Kind of like my horrible cup of coffee I’m drinking right now, but my coffee addiction demands I continue drinking it.

Catching Up

I came to DC hoping to get into Lobbying for legislation that would support the eradication of human trafficking worldwide. While that is still a noble goal, I have learned that I am not at all cut out to be a lobbyist; God did not make me that way.

I know it's been a really long time since I last posted. At this point there is far to much to catch you all up on for the day to day happenings of my life. Better yet, the process I went through to come to the above conclusion is rather lengthy and intensive and has spanned the duration of this semester thus far. But, I can offer you a few ponderings of my heart, mind, and souls that have been spurred by this semester so far.

• The type of person that lives in this city likes to walk and carry their groceries all the way home from the grocery store that is half an hour away (or at least they put up with it).I like people, and listening to their stories, a whole lot more than I ever realized.
• Arguing and debating as means of persuading, at least in my opinion, often detract from any real opportunity to create change. Change happens through relationships.
  
• I will probably get into the change affecting field via a non-profit, NGO dealio.
• Purple is definitely my favorite color, followed very, very closely by a good jewel tone green.
  
• I don't have to know what I'm going to do after I graduate. In fact, it's probably better that way.
• Reality LA has made me a 'church snob'. No other church is as good as that one.
  
• Living in LA is really something I would like to do, but there are very few things I would like to do with my life (career, schooling, etc.) in LA after I graduate from APU.
  
• Grad school is an intimidating concept, but one that I will probably undertake at some point.

For just a little taste of some things I've been up to here...

Real Life

Well, real life started today. Holy Crap. I think I might die. I'm going to be a very, VERY busy person. I won't have a life. I won't get to do anything for fun. (Ok, that might be my overwhelmed self freaking out a little bit, but there is still a ton of work I have to do).

So, first things first. My internship started today. Just in case you forgot, I'm working for the Business Civic Leadership Center, which is a division of the US Chamber of Commerce. This is a really cool, artsy photo of the building that I found on the internet. The 5th floor is mostly US Chamber of Commerce people. There is one office that is not. I don't know who those people are.

I was only there for half the day today, and nothing too exciting happened, some pretty classic intern duties, filing mostly. I'm working with another intern who is a study abroad student from Germany. She is studying at American University and is a Business major. We'll only work together on Tuesdays, other than that we have opposite schedules.

The I came home and had class half an hour later. I was a little rushed, but I think I will get better at using that time well. At least I think it will stop flustering me as it did today. BUT, then I went to class, and I am sufficiently overwhelmed by the work we have to do. OMG! Basically, I have to become an expert on the prospect of renewable energy in Sub-Saharan Africa. I don't even know the countries that are considered Sub-Saharan Africa. I'll google it and then I'll know, but I'm so far from knowing anything about this. I'm going to learn about two kinds of renewable energy that I didn't even know existed. And I'm going to learn all about business, even though I've never taken a single business class. Then I have to figure out how corporations, governments, and NGO's can, should, and do work together to make this happen. Basically, anything and everything at related to the prospect of developing renewable energy in Sub-Saharan Africa I will know. PLUS, I have to read a book and other articles to grasp an understanding of the general concept of global development.
So yes, that is what real life in Washington DC will look like for Kim. Who decided it was time for me to become a grown up? I don't like that plan.

(But, we had a discussion today about how the most mature of us are those who are mature when they need to be, but then let their inner child out at all other times. By such a definition I am the most mature of all! Yes!)

Novelty

So, after a week of blog silence, I'm here to tell you all what I've been up to. Sorry about not posting quite as often, I guess the novelty of it all has worn off

We had more service learning this week. I was at Cornerstone School, which is a small private Christian school in Anacostia. We got there and they really didn't know what to do with us and most of the time we felt like more of a burden than a help. But, on Thursday I got to spend the day with the Preschool class. Oh my gosh, they were so fun! The teacher was so sweet and the kids were just freaking adorable. I loved them so much.

For our Topics in Leadership & Vocation class we had a paper due on Friday at midnight (actually at 11:59 pm, to be exact). This consisted of four short essays, totaling 7 pages, and then an annotated bibliography for all of the readings and lectures of the previous two weeks. The bibliography was as 6 1/2 pages long. Shoot me in the face. But I finished it and turned it in and had a little celebration for myself.

On Wednesday we went to the Holocaust Memorial Museum. It was incredible. So well designed
and informative. It was also really intense, in a way that can't be described in words.

Thursday night I got to talk to my friends back at APU. I miss them so much. Relationships are so integral, sometimes I wonder why I left them. But it was so good to talk to them and get the low-down on what's going on in their lives. They'd had two days of classes at that point that, so I got the first impressions of senior year. This is a screen shot I took of them on skype. The quality is terrible and they all think they look possessed, but I think they look absolutely perfect! (Left to Right: Gracie, Katie, Alicia, and Emily)

Friday we had a guest speaker come, so we had to dress up. Thus far I have worn dress pants and a blouse, but that day I wanted to try something different. This is the result. I was so proud of myself when I put it together (can't you tell by the smirk on my face?). I think I'm getting the hang of this business attire thing. We'll just have to wait and see though, because I'm working on Fridays and I definitely have to figure out how much of a difference there is between business professional and business casual. That'll be a fun adventure. :~)

Well...That's all the exciting things from this past week....excluding the roommate drama that ensued. But I'd rather pretend like that didn't happen because it's all better now. We also decided that all the apartments will have drama, we just got ours out of the way at the beginning and they all still have yet to suffer through it. Haha.

Ok, well I love you all. Stay tuned to hear about real life that starts tomorrow. My internship and the main classes start tomorrow, so there will be much to tell.

Oops!

Ok, so I know it's been a few days since I've posted. It's not because nothing has happened. A lot has happened. Thursday and Friday were two very full days. Hang in there with me as I go through them. I will do my best not to be to lengthy, and only highlight the important parts.

Thursday
1) I found out I got a student worker job. I'm the Administrative Assistant to Abigail Linser (who is quickly becoming my favorite person because of how sweet she is). It will mostly be office type work, a combination of what I do at APU in the Admissions Processing office and what I did as the High School Intern at Hope Chapel (or at least the administrative side of that job). I'm looking forward to it.

2) We also got a little bit of a head first dive into what the Global Development track will be like. We weren't supposed to start that until September 13th, but our client was leaving to go to Europe for 3 weeks, and thus wouldn't have been here when we started the track . So heard from our client on Thursday night. We are looking at the area of Renewable Energy in developing countries. The company we are working for generally is contracted by foreign countries to bring businesses from America to them. It's generally focused on the creation of jobs within those countries. In this process they do A LOT of research. They find out everything about the country, are they ready to have this kind of industry developed in their country, do they have policies and mandates in place, etc. Then they call companies and talk to people who actually know things (ie no the customer services reps that answer the phones) and ask them questions about the field they are in and what the market looks like globally. Then they do what they can to get the country ready to be pitched to these different companies. The whole process usually takes several years. If you don't understand, that's ok, I'm not really sure how it all works either. Basically, they work with foreign countries, American businesses, and sometimes NGO's (depending on if it is applicable) to create jobs in foreign countries. They are a for profit business, which means as they make profit by working with countries that are already developed (like France, who they are working with now) they are able to work with developing countries who wouldn't be able to pay them as much.

Our job for them is to look into renewable energy and African countries. The first phase is Northern African countries, Morocco, Tunisia, Algeria, and Egypt. The second phase will be a few Sub-Saharan countries that are still to be determined. The crazy part is that our work, the research we do, will actually be used by this company in their relationships with these countries. Holy freaking crap, talk about pressure. This is real life, not just a class assignment. It freaks me out just a little bit, not gonna lie. But I totally see the value in it. I'm really excited and really scared.

This is the project part of the course. Gerry (our instructor) didn't tell us a whole lot about what the actual course would be like, but it will be similarly based. The idea of working with government, business, and NGO's to create jobs and develop countries in ways that actually work. Did you know that the world has given $2 trillion in aid to southern africa, and none of the problems have actually been successfully addressed. That tells me that we've been helping in the wrong way. Instead of throwing money at them, lets give them jobs. That's what this course is all about. I'm freaking stoked.

The cool part about this though, is that my internship with the US Chamber of Commerce, BCLC is EXACTLY what we are doing in this course. Their conference that I have to help plan as a part of my internship that is at the end of September. Gerry, who is friends with my boss's supervisor, asked me to try to get tickets to one day of the conference for all of the people in Global Development. Talk about applicable. I knew God had a plan all along for my internship, I just didn't know what it was.

3) I got my camera!! It's pretty and blue and wonderful!

Friday
1) Well, we had class all day. We had four different sessions in which we talked about different church traditions (not necessarily denominations, but traditions). Pietism, Reformed, Ancient, and Evangelical. Most of the students were confused as to why we were talking about this. The class is supposed to center around vocation and calling and we didn't see the connection. I think it was supposed to include how each of these different traditions view vocation. But that didn't really come across that well.

It was interesting to learn about them. I really enjoyed some of the talks. Having grown up in Maui in a Non-Denominational church, I didn't really know anything about traditions. I'd never heard the word "evangelical" until I went to college. I didn't know that denominations even existed until I was 13. I don't think I'd ever used/seen a hymnal until I was 18. These things are all VERY foreign to me, so it was interesting to learn about what they all mean and how they all developed. They did through around some words that they never defined, and so I don't think I got the whole message, but I got enough.

The hard part about the ongoing conversation throughout the day was that it became very divided and critical. I think it's the nature of most political science students to be very critical and to focus on what's wrong with something. But, by the last lecture of the day, people were getting a little bit vicious with their questions. It mostly just frustrated me that there was little emphasis on how all of the traditions are right and that we all make up the same body of Christ, that we are all united. I think that perspective could have eased the division and tension of the conversation.

2) Everyone was very flustered, so Virginia, Jon, and I decided to just get out of the building and go for a walk. We ended up at the Capitol building. It was closed, so we couldn't go inside, but we just sat outside and looked it. It's such a beautiful building, so imposing and grand. Then we wandered across the street and looked at the Supreme Court building. Again, immense and very supreme. There are 16 massive columns that are so beautiful. Jon said it's supposed to represent the grandeur of the law. I really enjoyed just getting to look at these buildings. I can't wait until I can actually walk through them. Pictures (Blogger won't actually upload photos to my blog, and I don't why, so go look at the pictures on Facebook).

3) Later that night we watched Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith (Episode 3). I love star wars! I also really like bad movies. It's so wonderful.

Internship

Yes, it is true I finally have an internship! Praise God! I am working for the US Chamber of Commerce in their Business Civic Leadership Center. Like I said last time, they do some pretty awesome work in getting big business together with NGO's and government agencies to do humanitarian work in the US and abroad. Their website has a lot of great stuff on it, mostly in their About - Who We Are section. Lots to learn, you should definitely take a look.

Today started with class. We had two lectures, at two different times about how Christians are supposed to relate to their culture. We heard about different authors and their opinions on the matter. They were really interesting lectures I just don't feel like explaining them right now. We also got a bunch of groceries today and had what the ASP folk call family dinner (basically faculty, staff, and students all eat a meal together, hey, I'm down for free food). After dinner we watched Thank You for Smoking. We poli sci kids like to watch cynical political movies apparently, it's the third one since we've been here.

Today has been hard. I'm getting to that point where I'm really over this new people thing. I want my friends back, especially because they give me hugs. It seems the older I get the more I realize just how important physical touch is for me. Without I really start to feel disconnected from humanity and no matter how many people I'm surrounded by I end up feeling lonely. I know this phase will pass and people here will get to know me, it's just hard right now. Sorry for downer....I'm just being honest though. Sometimes days a downers. If you want help you should fly to Washington, DC and come cuddle with me and give me countless hugs. That would be nice.

Tomorrow I should get my new camera. That'll be exciting. I should also be finding out about my student worker job. Hopefully I'll have some updates for you all. Love!!

Service Learning and Interviews

Today was a different, long, and full day.

I had to wake up early this morning to take part in our first day of service learning. We were assigned to various organizations around the city that all do different kind of work. The group I was a part of went to Central Union Mission. They do a lot of different work; feeding and clothing the homeless, offer programs to the homeless who are looking to change their lives., etc. Pretty typical organization to find in a big city. But their commonness does not in any way subtract from the amazingness of the work they do (this one especially since it is a Christian organization). We did do a whole lot of actual work, but we sure got to hear some amazing stories! God's redemption is so amazing and it's so great to be reminded of it! (I don't really feel like typing that much today...so no story, they're kinda long.)

Then I came back from that and checked my email. One of the places I'd applied to for my internship got back to me! It wasn't any of the congressional internships, it was this other one that Elizabeth (the internship coordinator at ASP) told me about. It's with the US Chamber of Commerce in their Business Civic Leadership Center. They do amazing work! Basically, they help connect big business with NGO's and other government agencies to do humanitarian work around the world. They call it Global Corporate Citizenship. I had an interview with him at 2 pm. I think it went pretty well. I'll let you know tomorrow when I find out if I got it.

Today was also the day for student worker interviews. There are a lot of students in ASP and WJC and not very many student worker jobs. So, today we had interviews. My interview was at 3:30 pm for the Administrative Assistant to Abigail Linser who is the....well I don't know her title, but she does everything for ASP that is not class or internship related, including all dealings with applicants. She is a busy girl. I have a lot of office experience, though, so I feel pretty good about that one. I should find out about that on Thursday. Again, I will let you know when I find out.

Today was also the first night with homework. I realized that homework will primarily consist of reading. We do a lot of reading here. Tonight's readings were about a book that we will be reading for this class. They were explanations, critiques, and critiques of critiques. All it did was make me want to read the book so that I could have an opinion of my own. I don't like reading what other people have to say about the book without having read the book. It's impossible to have an opinion because you only have other's opinions to go on. No bueno.

Well, that was my day. It was rather exciting and different and new, and structured. Have I mentioned how much I love structure? Mmmm.....it makes me happy. :)

In other exciting news: I had sent my camera to the Canon Repair Factory for an estimate on how much it would take to fix my 'lens error, please restart camera' problem. Well...they finally sent me the estimate and it was $110. I wasn't to fond of that price. But neither was I fond of not having a camera during my time in DC. So...I started contemplating my options. I considered splurging just $70 more dollars and getting a new and better camera. But I couldn't decide; I was torn.

Lo and behold, I read a little box on the side of the emailed estimate and it speaks of this Canon Loyalty program, and that I might be eligible for an upgrade. I wasn't really sure what that meant, but it sounded intriguing, so I gave the provided number a call. As it turns out, I bought a brand new Canon Powershot SD1200 for only $91. I was pretty flippin' ecstatic over that deal! They call it a refurbished camera, but that just means that a store couldn't sell it because of overstocking or whatnot, or someone returned it unused for some reason. So it's never been used, but I don't think they are allowed to sell it at full price anymore. I'm not really sure. But, I do know that I got a brand new camera for less than $100. Hooray for me!!

Monuments and Memorials

So, today we had an academic orientation (only after we were once again informed of how dangerous it is in the city and how we shouldn't break any of the community covenant rules). They only gave us info about the Topics in Vocation and Leadership class because they didn't want to overwhelm us. I don't think they realize that some people are overwhelmed by a lack of information. At this point, when all I want is something that I can grasp and hold onto, no information is kind of unsettling. Oh well.

BUT, then we went on a monument/memorial tour! At this point I've forgotten which ones were monuments and which ones were memorials. So, I'll do my best, but I'm not about to look them up, so just bear with me. First, we went to the Washington Monument. They reserved us tickets to go the top! It was so cool to see the city from way up high. Random Fact: Washington DC was planned and laid out by the same guy that planned Paris, L'efant....L'fante....I'm not really sure how to spell his name, it's french and they use all sorts of letters that they don't say. Since we were there, we walked along the Reflecting Pool to the Lincoln Memorial. I always forget how much I love Lincoln. His speeches are just so profound. The Gettysburg Address and his Second Inagural Address. They are some of the most beautiful speeches, especially when they are huge and on very high walls. Then we saw the Korean War Memorial and the Vietnam War Memorial, both of which are right by the Lincoln Memorial. We then went on an adventure to find food and get home. We ended up eating at this really cute sandwich place kinda like Subway, but less commercialized. It was very DC and it was delish! I loved it.

Almost everyone in the program went to the Washington Monument because they had reserved us tickets, but then the group split up into three different groups. The group I ended up in was so good! It was a good mix of people I knew and didn't really know. Kate, one of my roommates; Gillian, the other student here from APU; and other people I didn't really know. We mingled a lot and got to know each other. It was so much fun.

One thing I did learn on this excursion was how Biola makes fun of APU. Two of the people in my group were from Biola, Kate and Ryan. Here's how: 1) They pray for us whenever we come up, because they know we're not real Christians and could never hold our own in a theological discussion; 2)At basketball games they now have a similar thing to APU's Blackout. They call it the Red Sea. But there is this skit that goes along with it. Their mascot, the Eagle, is Moses. Biola is the Red Sea and Moses (or the Eagle) parts the Red Sea. When the Egyptians (dressed in all Black, mind you) try to cross the sea, it swallows them up. Oh, how clever, Biola, how clever!

Welp, thats about it. Slowly getting to see the city and experience it bit by bit.

Still no internship news....fail.

Weekend

Well, this was my first weekend. I didn't a whole lot, but that's pretty much my style. I have to ease myself into everything.

On Saturday I slept in and had coffee and Jesus time at the little coffee shop right by school. It was good coffee and amazing Jesus time, what more could I ask for. I came back and read a little bit of the book for our first class. His writing is hard, so I could read very much of it. But then Virginia came home and we went to Target and the grocery store. It was fun to get out and about in the city a little. Taking groceries home on the metro was really fun, but I kind of LOVE the metro, so that might just be me. When we got home we made dinner and then had an event thingy to go to. It was basically make/eat s'mores and mingle. It was great though, because I actually met people. Everyone is really nice and wonderful. I can't wait to get to know everyone more and really know people, instead of only a little bit. After that we watched Donnie Darko, it was strange and really interesting. I liked it, but I didn't really get it. I have to watch it again before I can have a real opinion about it. A very psychological movie.

Today was fun too. I didn't leave the Dellenbeck until 3:30pm. Lazy mornings are amazing! I had Jesus time, read for class, hung out a little bit. Beautiful! Then we left for church, Jon, Virginia, another one of my roommates Hannah, and myself. It's called Grace DC and it's in Chinatown. 30 minutes walking, 20 minutes by metro. Abigail, the one we call with our questions before we get to DC, goes to that church. See saw the four of us and came to talk after the service. We all went and got dinner at this Mexicanish fast foody place. It was good. We ate on the steps to one of the many Smithsonians in the city and chatted. I realized during the discussion that a lot of how I am is explained by the fact that I'm the baby in my family.

So, church. It was definitely different from what I'm used to. It's a Presbyterian church. That didn't mean anything to me before we got there, I don't really know much, or anything rather, about denominations. They have formal membership, they only sing hymns, there is real wine at communion, the congregation recites things. It was an extremely foreign environment for me. Everything they said though, was right on. The message and heart of the church leadership and congregation definitely resonated with me, it just came through a form I've never experienced before. BUT, since reading Pagan Christianity the word 'church' has taken on a completely different meaning for me. It's not at all about the service I go to. It is entirely about the community I go with. It's about the shared experience of encountering the God of the universe who deeply loves us. This is the kind of Sunday service Virginia and Jon are used to, and since they are quickly becoming my community in ASP, I want to have true fellowship with them. So, my little spiritual exercise/experiment this semester is going to be my Sunday service. God is the same no matter the environment. If I truly believe that why wouldn't I be able to meet God in this one. Sure, it's not my preference, but that's because I've only ever gone to one kind of church. It'll definitely be an interesting 15 weeks, but I'm excited to see what God will do through it.

Well that's been my weekend. Nothing to spectacular, but exactly what I needed. Tomorrow we have our academic orientation, so I'll have more to share about classes and hopefully/maybe something to share about my internship.

LOVE!

Oh Fullness

Yesterday was quite full. We had a few orientation things in the morning (along with free breakfast). They were pretty basic orientation things. Community rules, safety in the city, a few little get to know games. It was great. Then we had lunch on the roof (because there is this super sweet deck on the roof, from which I can see the capital building). This lunch was with the intention of meeting and getting to know the staff of Best Semester and the CCCU. There were maybe about ten people that didn't work directly with ASP and WJC. They were really nice people though. It's surprising how completely uncomfortable really does make me a different person. I mean, come on, I talk to strangers, that's big for me.

Then we went on a scavenger hunt around the city. Oh man, I loved it! The city is divided rather nicely into 4 quadrants and the center of the city, which is the capital building. They put us into teams and gave us a list of different places to go see in the city.

First we went to the Library of Congress and got our Reader Cards. I felt SO legit. I can go into the Library of Congress and do research there. I can go place you can't go on the tours. OMG!! I think I flipped out a little when I first got it. And it lasts for two years, so if I come back after I graduate, it will still work.

Next we went into Anacostia to see the Big Chair. I'm not sure what the significance of the Big Chair is. It's outside of the government buildings in Anacostia, but other than that, I was a little lost at the significance. Anacostia is supposedly one of the more sketchy areas of town. Other than the group I was with I only saw one other white person there. I fell in love with it though, and I'm not quite sure why. When we first got off the metro, we went the wrong way. I'm not that great with maps, and for some reason it was my responsibility to get us to where we were going that time. So, because we were going the wrong way, we passed by a charter school as it was letting out. It was a K-8 school, and all the kids were in uniforms. It was probably the cutest thing I'd ever seen! We passed so many adorable children in school uniforms. But then we had to turn around because the sidewalk ended and there was a freeway. No bueno.

We turned around and walked back and found the street we were supposed to turn on. We found the big chair and then went to the coffee shop across the street. The coffee shop had only been open for 7 months, but the owner and workers were so friendly. We talked to them for a while. The owner was from Ethiopia and I wish I remembered his name. He's lived in the greater DC area for 18 years. He went to university in France. He was really cool. Then there was this one worker, she had just moved back to DC after living in West Virginia. She'd only been working at the coffee shop for about a week and didn't really know how to make any of the drinks yet. She smiled so much while were there. I couldn't quite figure out why. She was really friendly and talkative though. I loved hearing about their stories and what they were doing in life. I wish we could have stayed and talked longer, but my group was ansy to get to the other parts of the scavenger hunt.

Next we went to the US Botanic Gardens. The conservatory part had just closed when we got there, but it was beautiful! All different kinds of plants and a pretty fountain. I liked it there. Apparently that's where the congressional offices get the plants for their offices. We didn't spend very much time there, just long enough to catch our breath and get our bearings for where we were going next.

Dupont Circle and Embassy Row were next on our list. So, we hopped back on the metro and off we went. We never actually made it to Embassy Row, but we did find the Embassy of Senegal (which, for all my High Sierra friends, reminded me of Nod). We were all starving and tired at this point, so we ate at Jonny Rockets. I'd never even heard of it before, but it reminded me of Ruby's. It was very similar. We were done for the day, so back home to the Dellenbeck Center we went.

I liked my group well enough. I really clicked with one of guys, he's from Maine and goes to school just outside Pittsburgh. I'm learning a lot about only children here. I realized that I don't really know many only children. They just operate on a different mindset. It's very interesting to learn about. I'm also remembering that I don't generally get a long with girls that well. I forget that when I'm at APU and with all my friends, who are girls. But girls are just hard to get to know and get along with at first. Guys are just easier. I'm sure I'll make more girl friends, it'll just take more time.

I have really clicked with one of the girls in my apartment though, Virginia is her name. We really get each other and have this comfort with one another. It's great. We both view the world in a very similar manner. Ironically, she's good friends with the guy from my group that I clicked with, his name is Jon.

After we got back from our scavenger hunt, the three of us watched on a movie, Wag the Dog. I'd never heard of it, probably because it came out when I was like 3 or something. But oh man, it was awesome. Great satirical political humor.

All in all, it was a very long day, full of getting to know people and the city. Much better than Thursday, probably because I actually got a full nights sleep. I've been waking up with headaches though, and I'm not sure why. I'm trying to figure it out. I might not be drinking enough water.

Send Me Things

Did you know that I absolutely LOVE getting mail?!?! Well, it's true. Just ask my mom. Well, because I moved across the country, I wanted to make sure everyone knew how to send me mail. My address is:

Kimberly Farnham
Apartment 5
327 8th Street NE
Washington DC 20002

I think you should send me things. I like gift cards and salty snacks. Or letters or cards or postcards. Or even Love letters if you're in that kind of mood. ;~)

Washington, DC really does exist!

Ok, I'm here. I've been here for about four hours now. I've unpacked, met my roommates, and got lunch down the street with Gillian (the only other girl from APU in the program). It's still very surreal. I can't quite believe that I'm in Washington freaking DC.

For all of you who were wondering, I caught a cab very nicely. My dad helped me. I called him in the airport and he gave me all the tips and pointers and how-to's I could have ever needed. Thanks Daddy!

I live in an apartment with 5 other girls. In one bedroom there is one bunk-bed (two girls) and the other room has two bunk-beds (4 girls). I'm in the room with four girls. But, because I was the second one to move in, I made sure I got a bottom bunk. Some of you already know this about me, but I absolutely detest having to climb into bed. I need to be able to fall into bed. Climbing is not an option, and even less of a reason to actually get up in the mornings. 5 of our desks are in the living room downstairs (one is in the two person room). It's kind of odd, but I totally like it because it means I can go to bed whenever I want and I won't be keeping someone from studying. We also have a couch and a dining room table (but no chairs, except for the ones at our desks) in the living room. The couch is a dorm couch. For all of you who lived in Engstrom with me freshman year, it's exactly like the couches in the family rooms on each floor. Our kitchen is long and skinny. Lots of cupboard space and fully furnished. It also has a dishwasher and a coffeemaker. Hmm...happy! Our microwave is WAY oldschool. When I get a functioning camera, I'll take a picture of it and let you know.

Those are the basics of my apartment.

I still don't have an internship. But now that I'm here I will sit down and have a real good chat with Elizabeth, the Internship Coordinator at the American Studies Program. I'm sure we'll figure something out. It will probably include me letting go of my desire to work on the Hill (Capitol Hill that is). I will you keep you posted as things happen with that.

My roommates are.....new. And I don't really like strangers. I'll tell you more about them once I warm up to them. I'll probably give you a way better impression then.

I'm in Minnesota

I’m in Minnesota.

My flight is delayed for maintenance reasons. I’m not to thrilled about that, but what are you gonna do about it. These things happen.

The flight was….a classic red-eye flight. Of course I just happened to be the one with the screaming baby behind me. I couldn’t sleep, but neither could she. I’m sure her ears were hurting real bad. The lady next to me was kinda chatty, which I wasn’t really feeling because all I wanted to do was sleep. She was pretty bright though and could tell I wasn’t to keen on talking.

BUT, all this aside, I got to see the most beautiful sunrise. I love sunrises. We landed in Minneapolis at sunrise, starting our decent around 6 am. The sky was the most brilliant color of orange. It made me very happy.

As I sit here and contemplate what I’ve gotten myself into, I figured I’d give you a few updates on the whole shebang. I still don’t have an internship. I still haven’t heard from Barbara Boxer’s office (which I applied to over two months ago). I applied to two other congressional offices on Monday and I haven’t heard from either of them yet either. Surprisingly though, I’m not worried. I know that it will all work out in the end. God’s got it; this is one of the wonderful opportunities to trust.

What I’m most worried about right this moment is having to get a cab at the airport. I’ve never taken a cab before, at all. I’m not really sure how it works. That is kind of freaking me out a little bit. I’ll just have to be brave and do something new.

I’m also a little worried that my bedding won’t be there when I get there and I won’t have anything to sleep with tonight. And I’m really gonna want to sleep tonight because I didn’t really get to sleep last night.

But now we are boarding, so I must conclude. I will let you know how the cab getting goes.

Wow....I have no idea.

I've been thinking a lot about my future recently. I have no idea what it holds for me. In a year, I'll be done with my undergrad work. Until recently, I'd never actually thought about what my next steps would be. I'd always tell people that I wanted to go into human rights advocacy. But what does that even mean. It's such an ambiguous phrase. But recently I've had some thoughts, and have done some research.

There are various internships I've looked at:
Not For Sale
Sojourners
International Justice Mission
......and these are just a few

These are Masters Programs I've looked at:
Arizona State University: MA in Social Justice & Human Rights
University of Denver: MA in International Human Rights
Mahidol University (Thailand): International Masters in Human Rights
.....again, just a few of the ones I've looked at

I have no idea what I'm going to do with myself. Part of me wants to keep looking. But the more I look, the more options I'll have, which only makes deciding that much harder. I don't know what I'm gonna do. And that's scary.

But it's also really exciting at the same time. I have so many options, and there are so many different things I could do. It's an amazing lesson in learning to trust God in all that I do. I hate that everything is about money. I can't help but escape the reality of it. I just want to do what my heart is passionate about and what God is calling me too. Unfortunately, that usually means either going further into debt or making barely enough to live on.

My thoughts have been, intern for a year and then go to grad school. But then I'm still poorer than dirt, taking out more loans to go to grad school, and going into a field that doesn't pay well. I don't know how I'm ever supposed to pay back a loan. I think, before they give you the loan, they should really look into what you plan to do with your life to determine if you'll ever actually be able to pay them back. But I'm actually really glad they don't, because then I wouldn't be getting a college education.

Bonus

So, this morning I woke up at the butt crack of dawn to take my roommate/best friend to the airport. I was not to hip on the 5 am wake up call, but I love her so I did it anyway. Plus it meant that I got to wish her a wonderful time off and good rest while at home.

The bonus in this though, I got to watch the sun rise on my way home. I haven't watched the sunrise in I don't know how long. It was so beautiful! Even my crappy SoCal Freeway view. I guess that just means I need to wake up early more often in more beautiful places. Maybe, while I'm in DC, I'll wake up really early and go to the coast (I have no idea how feasible this idea is, kind of thinking out loud). I'll watch the sun rise over the ocean! I've never done that before. Growing up on an island I guess it would have been possible, but that would have meant being in Hana at the but crack of dawn, and I just do that. Now, since I live in California, it's also a little difficult.

But I really do love the sunrise. There is such a freshness and peace about it. The light it brings to the darkness, there is such hope (and countless religious symbolisms).

:( - Sad Face

I leave for DC in so few days I don't want to count. I'm so excited to go and see what I know God has planned for me, but I don't want to leave yet. Well...not so much that I don't want to leave, it's just that I want to take certain aspects of my life with me, I don't want to leave them behind. That's generally how I've felt about every new adventure I find myself on. Taking little pieces from everything I've done and putting them together in some make believer world. But, if that's how life worked I would never really have a reason to trust that God would take care of me, because I would be in such a safe, secure, and comfortable place.

Today was my last Sunday at Reality LA until I return from DC. I know I'll be back in 4 months, but I'm still really sad about leaving that church. It's weird though, I intentionally didn't get connected at the church. I didn't join a small group, I didn't volunteer. I just came on Sunday's with my friends from school. All of this in hopes that I wouldn't get attached and have a difficult time leaving. Too bad that did work. Oh well, one more opportunity for me to trust that God is going to take care of me. Now I'm home now, after church, all alone in my apartment (watching old episodes of Alias). It's my day of being sad about leaving that place that has allowed me to encounter God differently.

I feel like I still have a lot to do before I leave, but it's not really that much. I have to go through my clothes and decide what to actually take, since I know I can't take all of it. Once that's been decided, I have to take boxes to Nana & Papa's house for safe keeping over the semester. I have to get a few more blouses to go with my suits. I still need an internship. That's definitely a work in progress that is just requiring me to wait. So, I wait. I have to finish reading one more book that needs to be read before I get to DC. So not really that much in comparison to all that I had to do just two weeks ago, but still enough to make me feel unsettled about it.

All of this transition process is nothing new to me. However, it has taught me something new this time. I realized today that I really like stability. I want to be able to get involved at church and be relied upon. I want a place that I can call home, for more than year. A place where I can keep all of my stuff forever and I only have to move it when I want and choose to, not when other people tell me too. This is definitely an aspect of my love of structure.

Blogging

I'm pretty sure this is my fifteenth attempt at keeping a blog. All the other times I've failed. After about 3-5 posts, I stop.

This time it's different. I started all of those blogs with specific purposes for them. This one is generic. I'll write about life, whatever it is that I want to write about. No rules about content. No rules about how often I post. No rules about writing. (That will become obvious as you read. Transitions, closings, and openings will be mostly absent. It will probably be more of stream-of-thought writing. So don't be confused or judgmental about the writing. It is what it is.)

Blogging in general is such a weird concept to me. The entire chain of thought that has to proceed writing a blog is so different. Let me write down my thoughts so that everyone in the world can see them (but with this understanding that very few people ever really will). Now that looks to me like either entirely arrogant or a cry for attention. And yet, it's not. It's simply the desire to truly be known. But then I wonder, why we think that a blog actually allows people to know us. They may know our thoughts and our words, but they don't necessarily know anything about us. And yet, here I am. Writing a blog. I don't really know what I expect to get from this process. Why does making my life and my thought processes public make them more meaningful than if I wrote them in a journal? I don't know why, but for some reason that's the conclusion I draw.

If you actually make it all the way down to reading this post, I applaud you. Mostly because I will probably keep this blog to myself for awhile before sharing it with the world. So you'd have to read what I hope are several posts in order to get to this one. So Congratulations, you did it!