Friday was payday in my office. Well, it was for everyone but me. Somehow, payroll didn't get my time card. So, the first paycheck I was supposed to get since starting this job didn't come when it was supposed to. It's been two months since I last received a paycheck. Things are getting a little tight, to put it lightly.
Do you want to know the most ridiculous part of this whole thing? I asked for it.
Back in the beginning of September I asked God to change me. My prayer went something like this
God, I want to be more like you. Use this upcoming year as a time of preparation to make me into the person you have created me to be. Do whatever you have to. long pause. Even if it hurts. I want to be ready, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, for the path you have me on in this next year.
Guess what's happened to me since I asked God to do that.
- My car broke down....like died, died, died.
- My computer crashed.
- I lost my phone for a period of time.
- I owe four people a total of more than $500.
- AND, I didn't get my paycheck.
Why did I ever think it was a good idea to ask God for such a thing? What was I thinking? That is exactly the kind of prayer he is just WAITING for us to pray because he wants so desperately to do those kinds of things in us.
For those of you who don't know what I need preparing for...here is the short version of my life plan for the next few years:
I want to go to a developing country and draw my livelihood from whatever community I am a part of. The way I'm planning on doing this is to teach English, a task which I am currently being certified for. I will bring God with me because I love him so much that I can't help but make him a part of my life.
Basically, this is what I figure God is telling me: The people of the community you are going to be a part of live a different life than you currently do. They live in a way you've never had to and can't really even begin to understand. They don't have the ease and privilege of owning a car or a computer, let alone the ability to be choosy about which brand of those things they have. Most, if not all, live inconsistent paycheck to inconsistent paycheck. They probably owe someone money and can't afford to buy things because they want them. They struggle to even buy the things they need. Even though you feel like your life is more difficult than it ever has been, you are still among the wealthiest in the world. You have more than they would ever dream of having.
