So, being with family has reminded me how much I like family. There really is something about that relationship, no matter how long it's been since you've seen each other really still care. I mean, I'm spending this Thanksgiving with my aunt and uncle who I haven't seen since I was five and my two cousins who I'd never met before I got here on Wednesday. And yet I find myself really caring and wanting to make myself a part of their lives.
All of this has reminded me how much I want to be close to family in the future. I want my kids to know their Aunt Brittany (or whatever nickname they decided to give her, since she always gets the best ones from little kids). And I SO want to be cool Aunt Kimmy to her kids, not just some distant person they hear about. Growing up in Hawaii, I had those, but only to a certain extent, and I turned out fine, no complaints about my childhood, but I guess I'm just learning the value of having family close by.
But then my heart is torn, because I want to be abroad for a long time. I recently decided I want to learn a second language, and the best way to do that is to spend significant time in a country that speaks whatever language I decide I want to learn. (My current thought is Spanish, but that's mostly because it's what I took in high school and college, so I have a little experience and then the task seems less daunting.) But doing international development requires some kind of international/abroad experience. And I entirely want to do that, and live in a third world for a while. Oh my gosh, yes, I want to do that.
I don't know how to truly fulfill all of my desires in the same life. I can't quite reconcile the two in my head, and that scares me a little bit. I guess it's just another chance to trust God. I'm learning to do that a lot lately. It'll be interesting to see how my life turns out.
I bought this today at Target for $4, HAPPY :)
I love your Target purchase. Let's watch it when you're back k? =) I feel generally the same about going abroad and not wanting to miss anything. Like right now Matt and I are thinking of going abroad for a year so I can teach English and he can work with a construction project (I'll give you details next time we talk) but at the same time I don't know if I could miss a whole year of my nephew's life or the possibility of missing my brother and his wife having their second child...that would just be devastating for me. But this might be an easier decision for me than for me. We may just go for a summer project instead, so only 3 months...still terribly difficult because I had that childhood where all of my aunts and uncles lived really close, so I'm really close with all of my cousins too. And I don't want to miss them graduating high school or getting married, etc. SUCH A HARD DECISION! AHH!
ReplyDeletePS the amount I just wrote here makes me think we REALLY need to talk again soon. k? yes. love you!