The Faithfulness of God {matul}

I

Being in another country is difficult sometimes, for so many reasons. Especially when you know that this is your new reality for two years. So you better get used to it. In many ways the last two weeks have been really difficult. I experience all of my emotions every day. About to break down in tears because I'm so overwhelmed with everything. Really excited about the little thing I just communicated in Portuguese. Frustrated that I don't understand anything. Laughing at the joke that I miraculously understood most of. I'm not used to so many emotions in one day. It's been a little trying on my heart and mind and soul. But I'm getting used to it, and finding a new normal for daily expectations.

However, on the days that end with frustration, or helplessness is taking hold of my heart, I have experienced the incredible faithfulness of God.

II

I bought a book to go through during Lent. I needed a little something extra right around when this season started, and decided this was good idea. It has daily readings, complete with reflections from St. Francis of Assisi and passages to read from the Bible. On the second day of this book, all three of the passages I read were three of my favorite passages of scripture. Each has played an important part in my faith at different times in my life. The timing of it all had to be God, because that day had been mostly overwhelming and on the verge of tears. It was God reminding me of where I'd been in the past, what he'd taught me that brought me to where I am today. If you're curious, go read Deuteronomy 30:11-20, Psalm 51, and Luke 9:22-25.

III.

This past Sunday, in evening church, the pastor preached on a passage in Hebrews. It ended up being a quote from Jeremiah 31. I went and read that chapter and then kept reading onto Jeremiah 32. It's a crazy  chapter. Most if it is about how unfaithful Israel has been, how they've done evil since they arrived in the land God had promised to them. God asked Jeremiah to buy a piece of land from his kinsman, so he did, but then he wanted to know why. You know what God said?

He said [paraphrasing, of course] "I know how awful my chosen people have been to me. They haven't loved me. They've rejected me and worshiped other gods. Basically, they've done everything I said not to do and haven't done anything I've asked them to do. So Babylon is going to come and burn down the city and carry the people away. You bought this piece of property, though, because I will use it as a sign that I will return these rebellious people to this land. They will live here again in peace, buying and selling property as you have done today.

Um...What? I was reading this and was so surprised by God's grace! They don't deserve any of it. And to those who think they do deserve the promises of God, him giving it to these unworthy people is offensive. These people had been just awful to him, and he was still going to treat them with kindness after they'd been exiled for a while.  And then I remembered that I live in this grace every, freaking, day! And even if I have a frustrating couple of days or feel like I'm not doing anything that is worth anything right now as I learn the language, even though I feel like I'm in some kind of exile right now, God is faithful. And he will fulfill his promises to me, no matter what. That is the crazy, scandalous, offensive grace that I live in every day.

IV

And this, this faithfulness in foreign lands, is one of the reasons I am overseas right now. I know this grace. It's the closeness, faithfulness, grace that I experience when I am abroad, serving the Lord. I've known it in Mexico. I've known it in Cambodia. When I think about the times when I have most enjoyed life, it has been in these places, these times. This is one of the reasons I chose to do MATUL, because I feel like I flourish in these environments, however difficult at certain times. Like I was made for this.