LOVE {matul}

I saw this on tumblr today.

LOVE

Other people my age: 

Me:

I laughed hysterically. Because, well, first of all, I have zero romantic relationship in my life right now. Like, not even a hint of one. But also because I love hummus.

But I also recently realized how much I love something else in my life. I have a love affair with Brazil, and I haven't even been there yet.

I'm leaving for Brazil in six days (what?!) and I am so excited! Three days ago I received a call from the Brazilian Consulate in LA saying that my visa was approved and I could pick it up at the Consulate any week day between 10 am and noon. (I'm going tomorrow, btw. Just in case you were curious.)  When I found out, I could barely keep it together on the phone. When I got off the phone I squealed. And jumped up and down. And really just didn't know what to do with myself.

I ran out of my room and told my grandparents. Then I called my parents. Then my teammate who is going with me. Then my sister. Then my best friend. And then I realized something. I was acting like I'd just gotten engaged. And I felt a little silly. So I stopped calling people and put it on Facebook and sent our an email to my supporters.

After a few days a feeling ridiculous, though, I've come to yet another realization. When someone gets engaged, it is literally the most exciting thing! They are committing themselves to someone they love deeply. They are making choices to do life a certain way. How they do life and make decisions will change forever, because it is not inextricably linked to another person.

Moving to Brazil is doing the same thing to my life. I'm committing myself to change how I live in drastic ways. I will no longer make decisions based on circumstances and worldviews that I've taken for granted (those that come with being a white, middle-class American). I will now, forever and always, be inextricably linked to the urban poor. That commitment will change how I make decisions, what I do with my time and money, and what I value.

So it's okay that I was acting like I got engaged, because this is my equivalent.