It has hit me hard these last two days that I only have two weeks left in DC. It is probably the most bittersweet feeling I've had in a long time. I don't want to leave my friends here. I have so quickly fashioned my life around these people and it's hard to imagine life without them again. The hard part is that my natural inclination is to push everyone away, make it easier for me to leave them in two weeks. But I know that's not good for relationships. I don't know how to prepare myself for the coming separation.
But I am also SOOOO excited to go back to LA and see my friends there. My heart leaps for joy at the mere thought of their presence. I cannot wait to tell them all about my time in DC and what I have learned. I can't wait to go see Voyage of the Dawn Treader with a bunch of them, or watch season six of LOST with KScroggs, or have a Camp Rock party with Melly, or cuddle with Ems on the couch. Oh, the comfort even the thought brings me.
Can you see my conflicted heart? Because I don't know what I feel more and I don't know how to reconcile the two competing sets of emotions. I know that life will continue whether or not I figure it out in my head, it always does. But words can't even come close to expressing the emotional state I am in right now. I couldn't explain it to you if I tried. I guess you'll just have to believe me, and know that I do have hope abundantly. But just because I hope doesn't mean life will be easy.
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