:( - Sad Face

I leave for DC in so few days I don't want to count. I'm so excited to go and see what I know God has planned for me, but I don't want to leave yet. Well...not so much that I don't want to leave, it's just that I want to take certain aspects of my life with me, I don't want to leave them behind. That's generally how I've felt about every new adventure I find myself on. Taking little pieces from everything I've done and putting them together in some make believer world. But, if that's how life worked I would never really have a reason to trust that God would take care of me, because I would be in such a safe, secure, and comfortable place.

Today was my last Sunday at Reality LA until I return from DC. I know I'll be back in 4 months, but I'm still really sad about leaving that church. It's weird though, I intentionally didn't get connected at the church. I didn't join a small group, I didn't volunteer. I just came on Sunday's with my friends from school. All of this in hopes that I wouldn't get attached and have a difficult time leaving. Too bad that did work. Oh well, one more opportunity for me to trust that God is going to take care of me. Now I'm home now, after church, all alone in my apartment (watching old episodes of Alias). It's my day of being sad about leaving that place that has allowed me to encounter God differently.

I feel like I still have a lot to do before I leave, but it's not really that much. I have to go through my clothes and decide what to actually take, since I know I can't take all of it. Once that's been decided, I have to take boxes to Nana & Papa's house for safe keeping over the semester. I have to get a few more blouses to go with my suits. I still need an internship. That's definitely a work in progress that is just requiring me to wait. So, I wait. I have to finish reading one more book that needs to be read before I get to DC. So not really that much in comparison to all that I had to do just two weeks ago, but still enough to make me feel unsettled about it.

All of this transition process is nothing new to me. However, it has taught me something new this time. I realized today that I really like stability. I want to be able to get involved at church and be relied upon. I want a place that I can call home, for more than year. A place where I can keep all of my stuff forever and I only have to move it when I want and choose to, not when other people tell me too. This is definitely an aspect of my love of structure.