When I Wish I Could Draw

Sometimes I really wish I could draw. That I could sketch. Sit down with my pencil and a notebook and create something beautiful, that I am proud of.

This is because I have an assumption (whether right or wrong I don't know) that drawing, for those who are passionate about it, gives them the same kind of release/gratification/feeling that I get from singing. Or I guess it could be writing poetry, as well. Or really just writing anything.

You see, to sing requires more than writing or drawing. To write or draw you need a pen and paper. To sing you don't need something you hold in your hands, but space. A space to yourself, a space where other things are not going on, a space where your singing won't be wildly distracting or rude because something else is already going on. 

You see, last week I found myself in a lecture with about 100 other people. I'm sure the lecture was wonderful, but it was in Portuguese and it started at 8pm. My mind was tired from a day of translating and it just couldn't handle any more, especially when I couldn't stop the speaker to ask about certain words. I wanted to sing. I want that sweet release of tension and anxiety. I wanted to feel free. But I couldn't, because that most definitely was not the place/time for singing. 

But I wanted it so badly. I'd read an article recently about how creativity can help deal with depression and anxiety. While not a cure for clinical depression, it has definitely helped lift my spirits in difficult times. But I couldn't. I tried my hand at writing a poem. I thought about drawing something. But for me, nothing is quite like singing. 

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i dream of a way

to sing with pen and paper

to feel a sweet release

of worship, adoration

the stroke of a paintfilled brush

the snap of a patient photo

the rhythm of poetic words

the poetry of prose

each thoughtful line of sketch

the sweet sound of melody

the grace of a body in motion

the perfectly rendered act

a pot so perfectly formed

there is release

unlike any other

to create

as we were created too

we simply cannot express it in another way