Learning Dependence

A week ago I picked up friends from the airport who had been out of town.  They were gracious enough to let me use their car while they were gone. (For those of you who are unaware, I do not have a car.)  I absolutely LOVED the time of freedom/independence/blessing that it brought.  I decided to reflect on the difference the car had made on my life during the previous two weeks.  Here's what I realized.

• We don't really need to go all of the places we find ourselves going.  
• The ability to go somewhere made me feel like I had to go and do everything that popped into my mind. (I felt a little trapped by self-inflicted obligation to "take advantage of the opportunity" to be free).
• Being alone while driving, singing at the top of my lungs to whatever I feel like listening too is quite possibly one of my favorite things. (Although, I'm  not a fan of the actual driving part. Just the ability to sing while driving part.)
• I found myself feeling much more isolated.
• I know this may sound strange, but hear me out. My dependence on other people to take me most places means that I spend more time with people in an enclosed space for a good amount of time.  Conversations happen, whether you want them too or not. I ended up feeling disconnected from those who usually gave me rides. 

While I wouldn't quite say I truly enjoy not having a car, I've definitely come to a pretty radical realization.  Dependence on other people is a good thing. I know. Life changing, right? But if I'm being really honest with myself, isn't that the way Jesus wanted his church to be? I'd say that's a pretty good modern understanding of "they had everything in common."

And really, I need to start believing that dependence is a good thing.  Really believing it.  That the church was designed that way. Because pretty soon I'm going to need to be dependent on far more people than I currently am.  As much as desperately don't want too, I am going to need to ask people to financially support me while I am abroad.  The thought of it makes me cringe. I hate asking people for things, even after of year of no car.  And I especially hate asking people for money. Ugh, the thought causes me to make an ugly face. But really, if I really believe that this program, being a missionary intern for two years, is what God wants me to do, I should really let him do it. Because ultimately, being dependent on other people in the church is really being dependent on God. (Not all the time, I get it....but in this case it is.)